The First Time

The first time I was kissed by a girl was on the playground in elementary school-she did a kiss and run--I told my buds, dumb girl but said it with a smile on my face.
The first time I kissed a girl was when I was 14--I was a cadet in the Civil Air Patrol and we had a hayride--and my date was a wonderful girl named Joan, slim and shy and very sweet--we made out in the hay and it was so nice,her lips were like sugar and the feeling was something I had never felt before.
My first date was when I was 13, a girl scout dance--my best friend Nancy was the scout and her mother called my mother and ask if I could es-court their daughter to the dance--It was so exciting but also scary cause I could not dance---Nancy was my best friend and to this day my oldest friend--I have known her since 2nd grade---and she will be a future story--called The Black Haired Girl----Nancy spent the 6 weeks leading up to the dance--teaching me how to dance--and we also practiced me coming to the door and greeting her parents and me pulling her chair at the table and me opening the door to the car to let her in and having small talk etc.--preparation, preparation preparation---The end result was----We Won the Jitterbug Contest, The Stroll contest and got second in the Continental and after that I started looking at my best friend and fishing buddy in a different way
but we moved after that --from Maryland to Florida and I lost track of my best friend for the next 43 years--until I found her a few years ago--I got to tell her what her friendship had meant to me and we are now in communication again, me and my Little Black haired girl.
There were a lot of first times and most are very memorable--The first time driving,flying,making love-and the first funeral and memorial service,the first time being dumped,speaking to an audience--etc---many evoke strong feelings --felt for the first time.
This my first time Blogging and I have enjoyed sharing my thoughts and reading yalls. The Codge

I basically grew up a goody two shoes, with very strict parents--so when I got in trouble in 2nd grade for pulling a girls hair and daydreaming--you would have thought it was the end of the world--the girl hit me with a book first---and day dream I did--my mind a million miles away--I was in the worse reading group and the worst writing group--and had to go to special classes cause I could not pronounce my SSS'S-properly--and as often as I type words backwards probably had dislexia all these years as well.The spin I put on it is--if I am dislectic and still passed maybe I was really almost a genius.
I bring up all this cause I was so good--I didn't want to disappoint my parents--I was actually petrified to fail--The failing started early--I had to take a test to see if I could go into first grade at age 6--because of the way my birthday fell--well they put me in a setting with other kids and because I wouldn't play house with the girls--and preferred to draw airplanes by myself--they told my parents I didn't mix well and would have to wait till I was 7 to start 1st grade--I still remember the hurtful thing my dad said about it--he said"Gloria,that boy is not going to amount to a hill of beans"--He was darn near right--but at least my boys have because I didn't make such statements about them-just stressed you can be anything you want to be--and they are all doing fantastic---more later Codger

You can get an education,wear quality cloths,be taught manners,go to church and try to live right--conduct yourself as a gentleman and show respect to others--work hard,save for the future--try to be a model citizen--on and on--a work in progress--but there is another side not seen--the realm behind your eyes-and held in secret by your brain--a dark side--full of urges and fire- and cunning--the chamber where the beautiful woman you have just seen is stripped as she walks-thrown around like a rag doll onto the fires of lust--analyzed-rotated, judged-rated kept or discarded in the secret chamber no one knows about--and that is just one thought in one second of a mans day.
They say men think about sex 7/800 times a day--believe it--secret thoughts mostly--while they are saying hi how are ya-are really thinking nice ass---great breast--I'de like to grab that little waist and pull her into my fantasy.

I wonder if people know that they are being scrutinized every second they are in view--even from a distance away--silently --categorized-and filed away--if a tree falls in the forest if no one hears it--did it fall? Same with the comment ummmm ummmm nice coming from the drivers side of the car at the light-watching the office girl hurry back to work at lunch time.
The mind is so fast-----and the silent thoughts we process daily would fill a lot of computers--hot adventure--stark terror--judgements--plans--scenarios--anticipation--visual gratification--what do they say--Eye candy.
Mostly these thoughts remain locked away--silent-a movie in our minds eye--sometimes if you watch the eyes you can read the soul--they are a tell---a gentleman--maybe--a man--for sure. The Codge

I just have a few minutes and thought I would relate a strange experience I had as a child.
I was about6/7 years old and went over to visit my first cousin--it was their practice to take an afternoon nap--the kids that is---wasn't my practice but whatever the adult said-you know---so off to the room I went.
It was a nice room--four poster bed--no canopy--and there was a piano in the room--the door was shut--plenty of light came in from the window and I was lying on my side sort of staring at the piano which was in my field of vision---when all of a sudden a hand appeared--palm out just above the left back edge of the piano--and the hand moved from left to right--from one end of the piano to the other--it was a large hand--not a childs--a mans hand--when it got to the end it was gone--I didn't cry out--but have never forgotten it--some 54 years later. That's it------The Codge

copyright 1919

I love this--thought I would share--- the Codge

Of the Great Soul there are two charateristics,irony and pity.
By irony I mean nothing hard or cruel but only that gentle laughter which arises from the realization that most things make no matter.
Most Tempest are in a teapot,much of the words ado is about nothing,most frantic medicines are for diseases that would best cure themselves if left alone.
So Experience works a kindly indifference to those who are wise enough to learn.And the really beautiful time of life is old age,when the storms of passion have been out sailed,the thunders of protest have died down,and the calm of twilight the subtle wisdom of adjustment lends the landscape a crystal beauty.The high lights are gone and in their absence we perceive actual values.The crash of endeavor,the discord of struggle,have ceased and the universe hums with pure harmony.
Then we smile,but without bitterness.
We are amused but without contempt.Our laugh at the vanity of men"s vanities rings with no derison,no mockery,no egoistic superiority,but bespeaks only our happy vision of the heart things.We laugh.
Once we would have wept.
With Irony, a sense of removal,come pity,a sense of nearness.We are far from men.We are nearer than ever before.
We pity,because no longer we condemn.
WE have come down from the Judges Bench and are a friend at court,because we have found out that human hearts do not need judgement,but help.
Once we criticized:now we see it is not worth while: the essential is sympathy.We, delt damnation right and left,we divided sheep from goats with a thorny stick,we had heros and villains.
Time has budded our staff,has blunted our sword.We are coming nearer to the Gods,and perceive that after all they do not judge they smile at them and pity them.
Children and grand children have sprung up around us and taught us something.What they have taught us is that we are all children,to be borne with and waited for,and not to be forced continually to sharp decisions beyond their powers.
With age we learn we are under more obligations to our children than they to us; and we suspect the Gods feel also that their responsibility is greater than ours,that the judgenment day would be as terrible for the Judge as for the prisoners.
Pity weeps and makes life sacred. Irony smiles and makes life amiable.And Irony is gentle and kind."It teaches us to smile at wicked men and fools whom,without it,we might have the weakness to hate"
4 minute essays--copyright 1919 Dr. Frankl Crane Volumn 6